HEROES

"I need to be heard.

I need to be heard because I have something to say."

Don't we all have something to say?

Some of us, though, feel that what we're saying is worth more. Worth being heard, or read, or seen.

We want to fight, to save people, to do what's "right".

We want to do that one great thing, make that brilliant contribution to humanity, feed others, feed ourselves.

We want to live forever.

And if we don't (because we can't), we want to leave something behind, for others to see, hear, read.

And the people of tomorrow will say, he did good. He did some good in this world.

We want to be heroes.

KULE

Yahoo! I finally have the computer all to myself, for at least an hour while my brother's gone.

Had coffee with LJ and Tincup yesterday. As always when I'm with Kule people, it was a blast. I'm so looking forward to this weekend when we get together in Bulacan. All hell will break loose, and I'm sure people will be laughing/arguing/crying/puking by the next morning.

Speaking of Kule, I just got a call from Bullet about P Kule, the new term, new EIC, etc. This is the third time someone has brought the topic up, the second that an invitation has been extended. I didn't know what to say to him. I really don't know what to do.

My time in Kule--any Kule--is over, I believe. Or is it?

Question: Do I want to help them? Yes I do. Is this the right way? I'm not sure.

LJ told me, "okay na yung legacy na iniwan mo...o gusto mo ba gumawa pa ulit?" He's right. So why am I even contemplating the idea?

Magulo sa Kule. Magulo ang Kule. Nakakapagod. Nakaka-drain. Given that, the iota of thought I'm putting into this can only be borne of one of two reasons: a) my undying Messiah complex or b) my ego. Two very wrong reasons to do a very right thing.

True, the prospect does give me a tiny fluttering feeling in the tummy. But I know more now. I'm wiser. I know that the incoming term is probably a fluke (but one that is very much welcome in my book). It is a crease in a long, straight line of Kule terms, much like Che's and LJ's, only that neither of them was a member of a frat or soro (we had the time of our lives being just Kule and nothing more, or less).

I know more than to immediately jump at the idea of trying to "bring about change". It is a difficult, uphill climb, one that I have already made during my time and am a bit reluctant to do again, no matter how enticing the challenge may seem.

I also know that fraternities are fraternities and brothers are brothers.

At any rate, I wish P Kule the very best of luck. As I've told Bullet, it's been needing a shake-up. I still believe that activism should not be exclusive. As Joy so succintly and aptly said one staff meet many years ago, hindi kinakahon ang aktibismo.

I remember the filename I used for those long, impassioned letters that I wrote during that turbulent time in Manila Kule: Redemption. For P Kule, it's a new term, a new chance, a new time, a new stab at redemption. I guess it's true, what the song said. Pana-panahon.

SEARCHING

Shine
Collective Soul

Give me a word
Give me a sign
Show me where to look
Tell what will I find?

Lay me on the ground
Fly me in the sky
Show me where to look
Tell me what will I find?

Oh, heaven let your light shine down

Love is in the water
Love is in the air
Show me where to go
Tell me will love be there?

Teach me how to speak
Teach me how to share
Teach me where to go
Tell me will love be there?

Oh, heaven let your light shine down

I’m going to let it shine
Heaven's little light gonna shine on me
Yea yea heavens little light gonna shine on me
It's gonna shine, shine on me
It's gonna shine, come on in shine

AAAARRRRGGGHHH

Len's right; feeling ko nabobobo na ako. I don't get regression analysis, okay? I never have. But I have to do it for this friggin project development class. If only I were friends with my ex, I'd make him do it for me, nyahaha. Auuggghhh.

At this point, I am a mish-mash of wrought nerves and burnt brain cells (do they burn? Don't think so. Ah, to hell.). And I'm supposed to be doing a million things this very second but what am I doing? Blogging. This is rebellion.

The sem is about to end and I can't even muster the strength to say "whew!" (hey, I just did). I am exhausted, doubly, because of my nature as a worrier. I know, I know, everything shall come to pass. But they haven't, you see, they're still here, waiting for me to let them pass.

What to do, what to do? I'm excited about next sem, freaking out about this sem, sad that I won't see him after this week (now that is a failure in planning, and Shiva will laugh and kill me at the same time for being such a wimp), happy knowing I'll get to see my friends this Saturday, frustrated that I slaved over my acads much more than I would have wanted and am supposed to, and yet fulfilled knowing I have learned a lot from slaving over my acads. Arrrgggh.

I just want to flop down and not move. Yes, flop down, if there is a term. I'm sure I'd make a flopping type of sound. Or a splat or splunk or something. I'm going crazy.

I KNEW IT

Forever confused talaga utak ko.

You Are 45% Left Brained, 55% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?